Kai And His Horse Made Me Wet The Bed!
by Kinkajouu
Summary: During a bad dream about Kai and a horse, Rick wets the bed! Oneshot, funniness...


- During a bad dream about Kai and a horse, Rick wets the bed! Oneshot.

- Warnings: Funniness, and a big, tough 'blader losing all of his dignity… :D

- Disclaimer: I own it not.

- A/N: You did read right. Rick wets the bed because of a bad dream involving Kai and horse. MarianQ also said I should write this, after telling her about one of my own bad dreams. So, yeah… This is based on my own bad dream. Except, it didn't involve Kai. But it did involve a horse peeing on me. But I didn't wet the bed. LOL. Enjoy, anyhoo.

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**Kai And His Horse Made Me Wet The Bed!**

Rick cursed loudly as he changed the sheets on his bed. Max was rolling around laughing on his own bed, and clearly found something _extremely_ funny. Rick snarled in Max's direction, but it was ignored, as Max continued to laugh.

"Will you shut it?!" Rick finally snapped, having had enough of the hysterical laughter. This wasn't funny _at all_.

"No!" Max said back, still giggling. "It's so bloody hilarious."

"It's not funny at all," Rick growled.

"It is," Max wheezed back.

"Me wetting the bed is not funny in the slightest, so will you shut up?!"

Max did stop laughing a little, just enough to ask an important question.

"What were you dreaming that could've made you wet the bed?"

Rick's features darkened.

"You really don't want to know…"

"I think I do…"

"Alright," Rick sighed, sitting down on Max's bed. Max look at him worriedly. He didn't want his bed to be the next victim of a bed-wetting attack. "I was running to catch a train…"

- DREAM -

Rick was running down the street, heading towards the train station. He was _so_ late for his train, and was just hoping that it had held on for a few extra minutes. He entered the station, and ran out onto the platform. The train was already in the distance, and made no attempt to reverse and come back for Rick, which was rather rude.

"GRAH!" Rick shouted in annoyance, and throwing his arms in the air like you would do when shouting something like "Hallelujah!"

A few faceless people in the vicinity looked at him (with their no faces…), and scurried away from the madman who had just missed his train. Rick sat down on a bench, and fumed silently to himself.

Some twenty minutes later, Rick's bum was beginning to get numb. Benches were definitely not made for comfort. Complaining about his achey arse, Rick got up and went into the reception to see when another train would be due.

"Yes?" the woman at the desk asked. She also had no face.

"When's the next train going to arrive?" Rick asked.

"Depends where you want to go," the woman shrugged.

"I don't know where I want to go. I just want to catch the next train," Rick replied.

"Should be… Leaving now."

Rick gasped, and ran outside to see the next train leaving. When the Hell did it arrive?! Rick grabbed onto a door, as the train was still moving so slowly, and tugged on it. Luckily for him, it opened, and he was able to hop inside. As he shut the door behind him, Rick turned to see himself face to face with the ticket man.

"Do you have a ticket?"

"No," Rick answered truthfully.

"You'll have to get off at the next stop, then."

"Where's that?" Rick asked.

"I don't know. But do take a bottle of complimentary water. They're free."

"Thank you," Rick picked up a small bottle of water, and walked into a compartment, sitting down in the nearest seat, and opening his bottle of water.

After taking a gulp, Rick wiped his forehead. In all the kerfluffle, he hadn't realised he'd worked up a sweat, and now looked like he'd ran three times around the world.

"Excuse me," the ticket man said to Rick. "Do you have a ticket?"

"You just asked me that, and I said no," Rick replied, raising his eyebrow.

"Then you can't sit in that seat. Only people with tickets can sit on the seats. You can have the bottle of water, but you can't sit on a seat."

Rick growled, but got up anyway. He walked out of the compartment, aiming to go and find a seat that he _could_ sit on without being noticed. He made his way to the toilet, realising that he could sit in there without being noticed… Or, he could do, if he wasn't being followed by the ticket man,

"Sorry, only people with tickets can use the toilet."

"Dude, I've got to pee," Rick said.

"Sorry, only people with tickets can use the toilet."

"Well, what the Hell am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go?!"

"Sorry, only people with tickets can-"

"I heard you the first time, you freak!" Rick shouted.

The ticket man said nothing, but walked back into the compartment, and at the same time, two familiar faces walked out of it.

"Kai?! Tala?!" Rick exclaimed.

Kai and Tala turned to face Rick, and he noticed that they were holding hands. Rick said nothing, but looked at them enquiringly.

"Are you allowed that bottle of water?" Tala asked, nodding to the water in Rick's hands.

"The ticket man said I was. But I'm not allowed to sit down, and nor can I use the toilet," Rick shrugged.

"That's not a man, it's a woman," Kai said.

"Sounded like a man, to me," Rick argued.

"Oh look, the train is stopping," Tala announced, as all the doors opened simultaneously.

Rick hopped out of the train quickly, hoping that Kai and Tala would follow him and wouldn't leave him on his own. But as Rick turned around to see the train leaving, he realised two things.

1) He'd somehow left his bottle of water on the train, and this upset him greatly.

And 2) Tala and Kai were on the other platform on the other side of the tracks.

How the Hell did they get over there, and how the Hell did Rick manage to leave his water on the train?! He was holding it as he left!!

"Tala! Kai!" Rick called, and they both looked over to him. "Where are you going?!"

"We don't know!" Tala shouted back, and they both waved to Rick before jumping onto another train.

"But, wait!! I've left my water on the train!! How can I get it back?!"

The didn't reply, but their faces appeared at a window, and waved to him as the train rode off with them on. They looked like two excited schoolboys. Rick sighed as the train disappeared, and began walking out of the station, and down the road. It was then that he realised that he wasn't in any sort of town… He was in the middle of nowhere! A country lane! Farmer land!

Rick pouted as he continued to walk down the road, noting that he didn't actually know where he was going. He watched as a tractor drove past him. As in, the actual tractor was driving itself. There was no one on it. Rick was really beginning to freak out as he watched the tractor vanish round a corner. As he neared the corner himself, he heard a car come up behind him, and slow down.

"Hey! Do you need help?!" a voice asked.

Rick turned round a frowned. There was no way it was possible…

"Kai? But… Weren't you just on the train? With Tala?" Rick asked in confusion.

"No… What are you on about?" Kai replied staring.

"Never mind. Can you give me a lift?"

"Sorry, but no. But I have a horse in a field just around the next corner. Ask it nicely, and it'll take you to anywhere you want to go," Kai said, and zoomed off, not giving Rick a chance to say anything more.

Rick stared as the car with Kai in disappeared. His head was seriously beginning to hurt, and so he thought that he'd just better get to the horse quickly, and get the Hell out of wherever he was. Which was nowhere.

As he turned the corner, he spotted the field with the horse in. It was a big, brown, monster of a horse, and on a pile of hay next to it, a bloke was lay back. As Rick approached, he noticed the man was obviously a farmer. He was wearing a straw hat, no shirt, and his dungarees weren't done up completely, so the straps were hanging down, bearing the man's chest. Rick climbed the fence into the field nervously, and cleared his voice to announce his presence.

The horse looked at him with it's black, beady eyes, and the farmer didn't pay any attention at all.

"Erm… Kai said I could ask his horse to take me somewhere… Is that OK?" Rick asked the farmer.

The farmer got up, and Rick nearly fainted when he saw that it was… Kai!

"HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU GET HERE AND CHANGED SO QUICKLY?!" Rick shouted, pointing at Kai.

"I've been here for hours… What are you on about?" Kai asked.

"But… But… You were on a train! With Tala! Holding hands with him! And then you got off the train, and onto another train, and then you were driving a car, but now you're here!" Rick said, holding his head, thinking that he'd officially lost the plot.

"Do you want to use my horse or not?!" Kai asked, ignoring Rick.

Rick nodded, and went over to the monster horse.

"Excuse me, mister horse…" Rick said, looking the horse in the eye. The horse grunted, so Rick took that as a sign to continue. "I was wondering if you could-"

Apparently, the horse had had enough. It turned around so it's arse was facing Rick. Rick raised his eyebrow, but let out an 'oof' as the horse kicked him to the ground, and then stood over him, one of it's hoofs keeping him pinned to the ground. Rick tried to get away, but was horrified when the horse began to pee on him. Spluttering, and wanting to be sick, Rick managed to crawl from under the horse, and tried to run to Kai.

Before he could get anywhere near Kai, he was hit with a jet of water, which knocked him to the ground again. Frowned, he looked up to see Kai aiming a hosepipe at him, and laughing manically. Rick watched Kai, wondering what he had done to deserve this, and began crying as Kai started shooting water at his groin…

- END DREAM -

"And then he started shooting water at my nether regions… And that's when I woke up and realised I'd wet the bed," Rick concluded, watching and waiting for Max's reaction.

Max had tried his best not to laugh throughout the telling of Rick's dream. But he had held it in so much that he'd turned purple, and just had to let it out. He exploded into laughter, making Rick jump, and fell off his bed.

Rick scowled, and went to his own bed, leaving Max to roll around on the floor. He swore… That the next time he saw Kai, he would be a dead man. For making him wet the bed.

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A/N: That's pretty much what my dream was like… Except it didn't involve Kai or hosepipes XD And I think there was more to the train thing… And the person in the car wasn't Kai, either, it was my Dad XD

Anyway, yes… Did you get confused? It sure confused me writing it XD It was really confusing when I dreamed it…

Those faceless people… Imagine the people on the train in Spirited Away, as that's what they looked like. Lol.

Anyway… Review? Please? :)


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